Distant subsistance

2009-07-08T15:12:00.003Z

I love heartfelt powerful writing, and it always comes from places/people I least expect it.

Recently, an Irish mother, wrote a letter to Irish justice minister Dermot Ahern after her son received no response from him after his own letter was sent. I guess she thought it was time to step in. She sent her own letter, with such simple and well put words its hard not to feel a bit invigorated by it. Something I'll read anytime things are looking shit, till the day I die .
Love rules :)

Below is the letter in full.

Dear Mr Ahern,

My name is Helen Doody, you have already received and failed to reply to a letter that my own son Declan sent to you a week or so ago. So like any good and decent parent I am now trying to get you to listen to and protect my child – it is the very least that any mother would do for her own children.

I read Declan’s email and everything he said to you in the e-mail was true. He had a very tough time growing up in Abbeyfeale, I can still picture him crying in the mornings before he went to school because he was afraid of the people who were going to be waiting for him – bullies who would beat the living daylight out of him, people who crushed the very spirit within him. I tried numerous times to help him, I spoke to teachers, to the parents but the problem got a quick-fix but a weeks later it just continued on.

Declan was always a very shy and quiet boy but as the bullying continued he became more and more invisible. His Dad and I spent nights talking about him, wondering would he go to school in the morning, would he come home that evening with a ripped jumper or would his school copies be destroyed, we tried so hard to get him the help he needed but as the bullying continued, he started to shut his family out.

All of this began to change however the day Declan came out to me. I am not going to pretend that I handled it like a saint, it is a shock to the system, you don’t think about your child being gay, you just assume they are straight and when Declan told me I didn’t know what to do. I thought I had done something wrong, I thought it was my fault, I really thought that this was it for my son, when people started to find out that he was gay his entire world would turn into a living hell but it didn’t.

Over the coming weeks he began to change, I finally started to see him smile again and there was something different about his heart too. I saw my son reach a very dark and lonely place at the age of 16 but even at his lowest my son, had the courage and strength to come out and say he was gay.

He went to college with a new look on life, he finally seemed to be enjoying himself and it was only then I realised that there was nothing wrong with Declan. If my son was happy, if he was no longer worried about what other people thought about him then I knew that there was nothing wrong with being gay.

For many years he had kept a secret from me and his family because he thought we would reject him, like so many people had done to him before and now at the age of 23 he has graduated with a degree, a higher diploma and a masters. He has become the fine young man that his father and I are so very proud to be able to call our son.

When I heard on the news that gay people would now finally be able to register the relationships like any married couple I finally thought things had changed and I suppose many other people around the country like me thought the same. However I have now realised that what you plan on doing is nothing short of telling the gay community that they are still not equal. You will not tell my sons that they are not equal to their brothers, friends and the rest of society. Your Civil Partnership Bill is not good enough for my family, and hundreds, thousands of other families in this country. I might not be the smartest person in this country but even I can tell you that this bill is all but worthless and will only further the opinion that gay people are not the same as everyone else.

I have been there for all my sons when they have had their hearts broken by girlfriends and boyfriends. I helped them pick out gifts on Valentines day and shopped around for a Tux for the Debs. I have met boyfriends and girlfriends, I have liked some and been frosty to others. I have thought about each and every single of them getting married to someone that they love and who will love them back as much as I do.

I have six sons Mr Ahern, six very beautiful boys who became six very beautiful and upstanding young men!

Two of my boys are gay. Four are straight. Two are firemen. Two love playing video games. One loves to cook. Three of them love cars. Five of them have had their tonsils out.

All of them are my sons.

You have the power to change this country so do the right thing and change this country for the better, wake up and realise that there is still time to clean up this mess and give gay couples the same rights as straight couples.

I am asking on behalf of my gay children, their gay friends, my gay friends, my family, I am asking you as a member of this country, as a taxpayer but most of all I am asking you as a mother, to help my children and revise this Bill so everyone in this country can be equal.

Yours truly,

Helen Doody

Source: Pinknews.co.uk

when a U-turn favors equality

2009-03-27T06:15:00.003Z

I know updates aren't frequent on this blog, but now and again I come across something that makes me thank the earth I'm alive.
as far as politics goes, I tend not to read too much, I don't want to get caught up in the arguments of people who generally complicate simple issues and refuse to solve the actual complicated ones. However, recently, the gay marridge debate which grips America, mostly California's proposition 8 out-rage, is a current and important topic, with many arguments for both sides.
To me it was simple - you have a bunch of people who want something, and this something is a deeply personal thing that couples do when they love each other enough to decide that spending the rest of their short life's together is what they want.
on the other side, you have people who already have this benefit, telling the other ones that they simply shouldn't have it. Of course they have reasons and arguments, but at the end of the day - in the greatest democracy on earth, we still have a non-secular argument getting in the way of something millions of people want, its almost frustrating watching the endless discussion on the topic while the months roll on....and still these people aren't allowed to do something THAT HAS NO FUCKING EFFECT OR IMPACT ON THE GODDAMN LIFES OF OTHERS.
The free world got over homosexuality a long time ago - a percentage of the population are simply gay. NO less. No more. They dont harm anyone, they have a positive impact on many life's, and goddamn do they know how to have fun.
So the point I'm getting at is...

Its nice....its nice to see someone who sat against gay marridge for years, finally come to his senses, take a risk, and renounce his position.

That takes balls. More balls than the cowards behind those weak arguments have between them.

He is a New York Senator, and you should read this :

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-11760.html

2 guys or 2 gals choosing to spend their days together isn't a bad thing, and perhaps a massive solution to the massive amounts of COMPLETELY ABANDONED CHILDREN who need loving homes instead of foster care and rag-doll adoption. Get over your pride nae-Sayer's.
Equality and dignity and respect - its something any tax paying, civilised person deserves, so if all goes well, this fiasco will be over within the next few years, and the world becomes a happier place.

Whatever your position on the subject - try not to jump to either side of the argument without first asking from the point of view of values like democracy, freedom, equality, liberty, human rights. You will quickly find that there is no reason why anyone should be denied a civilised union, or partnership, of marridge - regardless of sexuality or gender.

life's too fucking short peeps, live and let live.

-Peace.

Time, memory

2008-05-03T02:48:00.001Z

Been long time since I posted anything on here, mainly because I'm not sure anymore what I can put on here. I'm not sure what I want from this. I cant think of any reasons right now, but there's so much I want but will do very little to get, so many mixed 'big' idea's about anything I start. Do I keep this simple and post in my usual infrequent rate, ranting about things I would like to think someone else cared about and keep it on that nice distant level were the agreement between me and the reader is a witty comment and the promise I wont get too deep?

Well, having been, to be honest, completely stoned off my face for the last few weeks, time has come for a shakeup, one of those life 'moments' were you decided enough of that, and more of this, context based. I guess I seen I even seen this one coming in slow motion, almost letting things happen and accepting as they happened, that, it was the set truth, that nothing I did would change that moment from continuing its path, and just letting it happen, like I'm on one big one-way system through time, just a visitor on what's happening. A big part of me wants to believe sometimes that nothing around me is in my control and I just have to exist alongside things for a while before politely leaving without saying anything, but I know its not true, at all. I control a good deal of things in my life, and pretty well, but either I'm loosing that ability and the mental condition is a reaction to fearing change in myself, the brain panicking its loosing its power to control its body and its environment, wether that be friend, family, career, life, relationships, and so on...

The phrase 'everything means nothing' keeps popping up in my head, and were I'm not a classic nihilist in any sense, the little phrase offers this odd sense of comfort, there's allot of things rushing through my head thinking about that phrase, so much its hard picking one example of how oddly comforting I find it when I consider everything, existence, who I am, and what it means to know that in all that we are, wont mean anything because the grand vastness of existence is so much more than we'll know, and by the string of luck, we got our 15 seconds of shame on this rock, and it was fantastic, tragedies aside. And don't assume because of what I'm saying, I'm going to go out on the streets and start a wave of anarchy. Quite the opposite. Its helped/helping me realise and affirm every decision and choice I make. The words I speak, the life I led, the things I knew, will probably never be known to anyone in 100 years, life will have moved on and forgotten most of what's happened in our lifetimes; but so what? there's nearly 8 billion of us. The number of memorable names that'll come from this 8 billion in 100 years will be in the thousands, maybe less. In this life, we're lucky to have even been born. Existence cant matter, it makes so sense to claim that it does and that somehow we're in a position to care about it. What matters is the 15 seconds humanity got on the stage, how we treat the people who we care for and who cares for you, good decent people. I'm finding myself accepting this idea openly. I have a short stab at life, and pretty much anything I do or have done wont affect the grander scale moving's in the universe, but I have an honest accepting that the people in my life and in my heart matter to me, and I gotta keep them safe, and we gotta get on with other people and have a goddamn lot of fun while doing it. Don't want to waste those 15 seconds.

After watching an interesting film with my flatm8 the other Day, an interesting point about memory came up, and gave me a bit of a chill, one of those change of perception moments. The girl on screen had described how she commonly got this feeling where she felt she was an old lady looking back through her memories, reliving them, as if making her way through a memory album. Instantly I related with it, having sometimes got this feeling that everything that happened in real time in my life was another memory I was acting out. Now, I'm not saying that I'm really an old man having flashbacks, and If I am, please shoot me, but its the chilling reminder that everything we are is only memory, records, electric pulses in a brain, the collective grandeur of our gene-pool, gravestones, literature. Its what it comes down to. I sit here using a computer, inputting what's in my mind, even then, what I'm thinking of, is just a memory of what I was thinking of, time always moving forward still out-runs the electric pulses between our brain cells. These words are technically just another memory, from one type of computer, to another type, and preferably to allot more computers. As your read these words, this sentence will already be a memory to you. That's just the way it is though, it doesn't mean anything, its how things have always worked. Our gene's are a good example of memory. The human gene pool, is humanity, it is us, the gene's that exist on the planet right now are the gene's that will go on to mingle and merge and produce the next entries in the big gene diary. People who breed, pass forward millions of years of slow progress to the next generation and as we all pass away, the gene pool just keeps going!

------------------------------------------------------------

Honesty a joke?

Is it?

No not really. I normally pride myself on honesty, its something I find very important. however, I'm far to dishonest with myself at times and could do with kick up the arse on this one.

I'm proud of who I am, I have no reason not to be. But still I crush certain aspects out of fear of implication on me and relationships with family members. Family aren't people I can curt hurt on purpose, but its never that smooth.

At this point, I have to keep in mind some words my dad told me years ago, which was how every person comes up to a test in their life, one set-piece that they must face up to and look it down. He had his own adventures in his life that made him who he is, and so far in my life, its been gentle nudges, and for the longest time I somewhat eagerly awaited this 'big test' of life that would land itself on me. But the big shock was how it crept up. Something I knew would make or break me for years and could never admit the task. Something I thought I had already settled too. The test I think is on me now and I'm slowly facing up to it. I'm proud of who I am, always will be, and its about time I took some pride in that. The end result is hopefully I'll have a stronger relationship with my parents and my family. This test is to me and I wish anyone else the best of luck on any big tests life throws at you. Be proud of who you are in every sense, warts 'n all.

YouTube - A/s/l ?

2008-03-27T17:10:00.001Z

Grandma Puff

2008-03-20T08:39:00.001Z

http://www.latimes.com/media/photo/2008-02/35645978.jpg

Legend.

Late Night Rambling

2008-02-26T04:54:00.001Z

Again I've arrived at the stage in the year where I've massive amounts of work to be getting on with. Lots of it. Tons of it. Yet, I cant find myself to even feel remotely motivated to do it. The reason for this I've yet to work out, but being in a creative sort of course, its possibly the worst sort of feeling because nothing will happen unless I start feeling the buzz to create, I'm completely dependant on that strive to create in order to get things done. Now, having my own up's and downs is becoming pretty normal, so I'm assuming something is in the way and I cant quite figure it out. Alcohol and weed only offer temporary solace for dealing with things, and in the long run really doesnt work.

I'll need to dig deep into this one. The soul needs to be enriched, inspired and moved and I'm not feeling any of that right now, something that normally courses through my veins with vigour has somehow vanished, or simply, been used up. If inspiration is the currency exchange for artistic output, then I am a very poor man right now.

I need a solution, and fast, time waits for no one, nor does it make room for introvert creative's, no matter how much we beg of it. A phrase I seem to repeat alot in my head is "Time, my master", perhaps its become a personal nemesis, the sort of one you cant beat, but then, that's true of us all. Time always wins.

In the next few weeks, I have an animation to start and complete, a film to conceive and direct, an album cover to design, 3D production to learn and produce and a game to build and develop and some paintings to do. Its all so much, but I get the strangest feeling I'll get it all sorted under the incoming storm of stress and panic.

Inspiration is my motivation and I best go find some.

Christmas time, petrol bombs and crime, children drinking wiskey and wine!

2007-12-25T11:37:00.000Z

Its Christmas day and I’ve been debating with myself as to whether or not it matters that Christmas is a religious holiday or not. I know my answer already, still, I’ll run over it in my head, probably just refining it, or maybe I’m just annoyed at how happy I am with my answer, irritated with how little resistance its met with.

First off, if I’m asked, I’ll say, that for me, Christmas is a time were I can personally celebrate and spend time with friends and family and enjoy the time we spend together as a unit, the people I grew up with, who embraced me. This is not devoid of spirituality in itself*. So for me Christmas is a personal holiday, with a Christian name. So what? To me it doesn’t matter what ‘Christmas really means’, a phrase to many Christians hiss at the non believers partaking in the commercial hype. It simply doesn’t to me anyway. The only people it should matter to are Christians, and even that’s pushing it, given the history of the holiday and its foundations. On a basic level its about the birth of their messiah, the ill-fated Jesus guy and all the bullshit surrounding that, blah blah blah.

*Spirituality to me exists merely as a metaphor for the emotional and personal totality of a person. Its not some weird supernatural thing, merely a word used to describe the total essence of a person or an experience.

As the festive season heats up, observe how little it matters what the foundations of the holiday are, keep an eye on how regardless of the religious message, a good time will be had by most of us. And as far as the whole Santa thing goes, it should be dropped, I personally disapprove of lying to children for the sake of added ‘magic’. To me real magic is appreciated in the fact that loved ones generously give so willingly to one another on this one day, something worth far more to me than a fat red clothed pedophile flying down chimneys to tell kids how naughty or nice they’ve been. Hello Santa, meet my shotgun!

Now as a nontheist, or atheist, or simply someone who dosent follow any god or goddess's, I'm usually expected to be the dry hum-bug character, and to a degree I am, usually blowing silly 'magical' christmas myths for 6 anytime I can, but I grew up with this stuff, I love christmas! I have some very fond memories and I get caught up in all the traditions willingly. But so bloody what? I dont have to be a christian air-head to enjoy this time of the year, or even a gullable child, I like christmas just the way it is, and long may it stay the same.

But it is a weird holiday. It’s by far our nation’s favorite holiday (massive general assumption, but I dare you to argue) and it’s completely supported by 2 giant lies (Santa, Jesus) with the only real part of it being the commercialization, which I’ve no issue with, and the bill’s that drop through the letter box! Now as a student, I’ve come home for Xmas and it’s been wonderful. I’ve spent all my time with my holy trinity, which is: Me, myself and my family and the love and bond couldn’t be stronger, nor my bank balance lower, which supports the copious amounts of drinking that’s to be done. But edging towards my original question, I’m confident enough to say Christmas isn’t a religious holiday, not anymore anyway – it’s a completely open ended holiday, it can be whatever you want it to be. To some its about some silly story, to some its about the traditions and made up crap, and to some its just a bit of commercial worship, but I’d say its safe enough to assume, that to us all, its about friends and family and enjoying all the love they bring to our lives.

To those who various other religious folk who dont celebrate christmas, chill out, have a beer, dont blow one's self up, and join in on a hym or 2

So I wish you all, a very merry Christmas, and a happy new year.

Fuck you Jesus, and fuck you Santa! (oh the joy!)

-Ryan

The good moon continues!

2007-12-24T14:51:00.000Z

More lyrics from not so long ago! Enjoy

Sinuous Endevour
================

prized from me, internal bled and ripped
wound of agony,a soul thats been split
from inside comes a slice, spirit and flesh begin to slide
from this ruin a distant scream, of anger, hate and pain

oblique figure, twisted in contempt
taste for life, on his tongue he spits
sinous endevour, blackness without light
burnt by another, rapture has been breached

morbid punishment, silent appology due
scarlet tears become a river, in turn
unquenched desert burnt of life
shaking shadow, tortured disbelief

A fetish of punishment, hunger for the insane
flesh but a playground, and what neath, primal gain
Of teeth, sinew and gory desires
mutilated, incapsulated, no pride will remain

Serpent tongue, slither, pleaures of the fire
temptation and liberation, bloody pire;
To eye and eye, one cannot lie, witness emancipatoin
totallity swallowed infinity;
non but I
cannot cry
tell a lie
watch me die
Faithful hide
Believers mind
inside deciever!

Body's broken now. Breathless and expired.
Emptiness, powerless, in me confide!
Give thee sin and heretherin
you'll be mine.
Forever, you'll be mine.

Ryan Locke

interpretation:
===============

Written in a bittered sort of mood, the song reflects the imagery of biblical contempt for human flesh and uses it
to compare the sadistic imagery, disires, and sometimes, realities of connections between 2 humans. Main aim
was to touch on spiritual absolutlism and totalitarianism of the human will to have somone as theirs in an imaginary
infinity that goes beyond rational circumstances such as death. Phrases such as 'together forever' often creep me out, the imagination sometimes means literal fantasy of what it wants and your likey to agree with it depeding on the nature of how strong your love for another is. Anyone knows its impossible to be with someone forever, or to the end of time, but the encapsulating romantic idea of possesing someone, having them in an imaginary forever is appealing, and potentialy destructive and if anything, primal.

Lyrics: Slavenous En Bittered

2007-12-22T16:04:00.000Z

Bleeding from thine ashen
thy gifts of subtle subriety
give unto thee lushious power
giveth to me the desire and devour

Surrendered, in submission,
a soul with no chest on sale
Temptation for the taking
Give onto me thy highest worth

Imbedded with the sensation of slaven
En bittered with the boils of greed
hatred bred neath of womb and woe
consumed in confrontation, wickedness

Wretched skin, eyes bled thin
clothen' of flesh bone and death
everdying, unenedingly asphixiated
embers burn of anger, unrelenting

Now thee, beast of unbirth
thou art mine to behold
beautiful child of mobidity
though art drowning eternally

Thirst unquenced by few
unless the decease of many
hunter, in mercilless dreams
thy contempt is coiled in flames

Slaven en bittered, slaven
chains of burden rip thy flesh
tear thy chest, may never rest
damned eternal
affliction of self
Slaven in health
bitterness thy wealth

-Ryan Locke

some lyrics written not so long ago, trying to describe the character of bitterness and how being a slave to it. Written in a very odd style, I tried to fit it so the words and effect of how they are spoken added some edge to the song. Hope you 'get' it.

Incomming Bullshit !

2007-12-22T16:01:00.000Z

Tony Blair turns catholic and it makes the news.

I’ll repeat that. Tony Blair, turns catholic, and it makes the news. At the point of reading the headline, I finally got what Edward munch’s ‘the scream’ meant as I felt the overwhelming urge to run to the nearest window and swear my head off until the blood vessels in my throat exploded. No, im not angry with his conversion, I’m angry that it made the stupid event even made the news. Now I may be aimlessly ranting about nothing, but when someone the country cares very little for anymore has a conversion of faith I’d like to think only his close family would find that even remotely interesting. Or is it all continued stage play? Oh who gives a rat’s ass; I can name at least 5 things more interesting that happened today that’ll never make the headlines!

1 – Upon clipping my toenails, I snagged the big toe and proceeded to rip off the nail and some flesh with it. Yes, it hurt like a bitch, and now my toe looks like a beheading victim.

2 – Some dust fell onto the surfaces of some furniture.

3 – When I sneezed earlier, I felt a bit dizzy and had to sit down.

4 – The clouds moved.

5 – An old man died somewhere in the world.

Now, Blair has rambled about his faith and a few occasions before and even made some stupid statements, and has made clear his faith while the press still cared, so what the feck is the sudden interest? I mean common, Britain is a pretty secular country, and the Anglican church has more atheists in it that most science conventions and we’ll, lets be honest and admit we really don’t give a toss about the catholic church unless there’s a new pedophile horror story to ridicule and make witty comments on. Again I repeat, Tony Blair converts…..ahhh you get the point.

There’s a whole host of people out there I’d rather see make the headlines if they converted to Catholicism, namely the pope, or ted haggard, but the bcc were really scraping the barrel when they decided to headline something that we already knew and still give much a crap about. Interesting headlines would involve things that surprise and shock us, highlighting an article with content that actually impacts our day to day lives. I imagine even the Vatican is asking ‘yeah, so?’, then again, I’m sure they probably don’t mind too much, he’s a free advertising campaign. Or is he? To me, Blair converting to anything is a reason to approach it cautiously. But alas, shame on you BBC! This utter waste of time has caused me to rant and waste more of my time and other people’s time and completely justify the entire fucking article in the first place. I think I’ll go for that scream now. Goddamit.

Nontheism and the historic first!

2007-03-16T09:53:00.000Z

Well, ifs there one thing that dosent happen enough on this planet, its someone standing up for what they believe in, at the highest of public office, against all the odds and risks. All atheists/nontheists can sigh a collective breath of relief - we have a non-believer in congress! Yes thats right! Someone in congress has the balls to say loud and clear that he has no belief in any diety. His name is Pete Stark and you need to read this:

click to read: http://www.secular.org/news/pete_stark_070312.html

The career risks are not only huge considering the religious climate of America, with recent polls sugesting that atheists/non-belivers are the most untrusted people that citizens would vote for. This is an incredibly brave move, and one that shouldnt be forgotten anytime soon. What I find amazing, is how amazing this is. I just shouldnt be. Given the percentage of atheists within the population, the reflection on goverment means that there are a good deal more nontheists than we know, and they arent saying a damn word. Apprently good christian men do far better in elections these days....a tragic state of affairs if you ask me. America was formed with a fundamental belief of secularism, the seperation of church and state, and yet the modern day america we see now is being lead by a man who lets his religion bleed into his work. Maybe recent events will cause a much needed chain reaction?
Ideally, being of any belief, christian, atheist, bhudist or someone who worpships the moon, should not have any impact of the voting or sway on how goverment is elected - and we should never find it shocking if someone admits thier beliefs in something thats not christian. Religion, much like sex, eating habits, movie preference etc, is all of a personal matter, and people's private matters should not be used as a basis for voting, or not voting, for someone.
I personally hope this news forces people to think more openly on the matter and maybe gain more understanding into nontheists. Here is a man who has served 30 years of public service, he dosent believe in any god/gods, and he's been brave enough to admit to it in a time were not being religious is unfairly frowned upon. Well done Mr.Stark, youve lifted the voices of millions with your own.

If you feel like giving a comment to Mr.Stark, then click here http://www.secular.org/activism/thank_stark_070312.html

The floodgates of truth and reason may yet open.

- Ryan

2007-02-07T10:17:00.000Z

It's been a while since posting anything personally written, but I'll post this article non the less. This is an interview taken with Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a Dutch politician forced to go into hiding after the murder of filmmaker Theo van Gogh, who was shot 8 times (which killed him), then had his throat cut and two knives dug into his torso, by Muslim radicalMohammed Bouyeri.

Click this link to read:

http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,399263,00.html

Is everyone is afraid to criticize Islam?
I think on the whole, most people are. Not everyone however, there are alot of people out there, in thier small groups and amonst their various discussions, that arent afraid to say what they think about Islam. The Big problem is that not enough people, or people with a more powerful voice are willing to risk saying anything, out of fear for thier career, or even thier life. This is a horrible position to be in. Its a scary thought when you can be branded a racist, or sectarian, for criticizing something as powerful as the Islamic religion. My point of view is, that if something is big enough, and powerful enough, then it should be rigorously criticized, debated, discussed and open to scrutiny, because its people lifes it affects, its our society it affects, and its also our politics. I think Ayann is incredibly brave to say the things she said, but I have to ask Why should expressing her thoughts and opinions be a brave thing? It seems brave because too many people are unwilling to say anything anymore, forgetting that freedom of speech is a tool we all have, and speaking your mind about something you think is wrong is healthy, and if anything, a requirement if we are to keep this freedom.

2006-12-31T18:16:00.000Z

Ok. This is precious...

click this : http://richarddawkins.net/article,467,How-Old-is-the-Grand-Canyon-Park-Service-Wont-Say,Peerorg

Now. I want you to sit back, and think about this. I want you to find it funny. I want you to find it insulting.
Now, its an understatement to call the current climate of political correctness as overkill. The tip-toe society were we have to be so careful of who we insult or annoy has gone beyond rational comprehension. This is a perfect example of how drastic some measures are being taken to accomodate the beliefs of others, yet again letting UNDESERVED RESPECT pathe its way to infringing on scientific fact.
Its utterly disturbing to think that the delusions of a belief (which are comepletly unprovable and drowned in blind faith) are given higher priority over real things, factual things, scientifically proven things.
How long are the rational thinking world suppsoed to sit back and take this sort of madness?

How about when religous belief dictates medical practise?

The harm this sort of correctness is causing will show its ugly head soon, and I believe by giving such political correctness such respect is taking us back in time.

So, in a short statement, and one which I wont appologise for, I say: Fuck Political Correctness. Its time we took more time to be humanly correct, rationally correct.

This is a scary, scary time.

Things left unsaid

2006-12-12T17:22:00.000Z

The price of honesty is sometimes high, but its worth paying. Make sure all those you love and cherish know you love them. Sometimes peope dont always say what needs to be said, and regrets are born or this. The curse of honesty is revelation and the truth of things that are, and sometimes it hurts to know the real truth of things.

-Ryan.

Ensuing Chaos And Coursework Deadlines.

2006-12-08T16:11:00.000Z

Ok, its 4.19 am and the caffeine in my blood stopped keeping me awake about 10 minutes ago and im beginning to think I've lost my mind. Eyes are sore, back is breaking and fingers feel like a bag of out of date twiglets. This is as close to torture a person of the free world can get outside of Guantanamo bay (ouch!). The disturbing part is that its all self enduced...in the name of a feckin coursework deadline. At this point, the temptation to gouge my own eyes out with a piece of chewing gum because its a much more fun option that this, is overwhelming. Now thats enough vomiting of self pity, more onto the nature of the beast : The connection between getting stuff done and last minute stress. Stress seems to be a weird and wonderful fuel and its forced me into self slavery! Now, as a sensible and self respecting man I have to admit its awesomeness out-does even that of a double bacon cheese burger. Why though? Ive spent the last 2 months trying to get stuff done and yet I find that the most of the work still needs to be done....and be handed in in a few hours.

Im going to bed.

12.06 pm

3 hours, 54 minutes till deadline. Eyes have become sticky, mouth tastes like salt and shoulders have cramped into a permanent slouch. The power of panic amazes me. Having brought this up in conversation with a friend earlier, it seems there are just types of people who work better under high pressure. Im going to assume Im one of them. Given my capacity for massive amounts of panic, by the force of which has caused me to work faster than any human alive, I must say im impressed. The one big problem with my course, being arty and all that, is the sheer volume of work expected, and the amount of time that takes. Luckily, I have 3 hours left in which to destroy the load and get through. My reward for this? Well, the restaurant round the corner do a great deal on dinner's! And the union may do a crap pint of guinness, but its only £1.50!

At this point of time Ive just made myself very very hungry, and thats not good. I have 3 hours. After that, I can eat, drink, and be merry.

Well, moral of this self loathing story is: Panic works. Its not the best route of action, but its not the worst either. A few allnighters here and there can be the best way to get massive chunks of anything done. Stress, panic and delerium are great fuel. Just remember to chill out after.

Blood Mountain

2006-12-08T16:10:00.001Z

I'd like to take a short moment to applaud Mastodon on thier new album. Its rare that a progressive metal band produce an album of such quality. Thats not to say that there arent others, but mastodon stand out for me because of the wonderful nature of thier music, its almost on-earthly. Im not going to review the album, reviews suck considering thier only written from the perspective of one persons opinion. However, if your into your metal and need something tasty and different, then go buy blood mountain, its worth your cash and a small piece of your soul.

Also worth noting here is the abosolutly fantastic album art the album is presented in. Its refreshing to see such care taken over the look and feel of the album booklet and cover itself. Im all for digital music downloads, but physical albums are something that will be sorely missed when you consider some of the painstaking work that can go into a good album cover design.

Maybe digital art-work covers and books are a possibility? I hope so.

The abominable workload

2006-12-08T16:10:00.000Z

One of the things I could never work out is how large workloads result in a more unwillingness to work. An example: A short essay - sure, I'll get that done in a jiffy. However, 10 essays and I'm more likely to hide from them and not even consider starting them until its a week from hand in. I guess its work-load-fear! When the forest surrounding you is bigger than you think you can handel, seeing a path-way out is more difficult and results is us standing still, falling victim to short perspective. *sigh* Im in the same situation myself, and its a start that I've recognized the problem, but starting the solution is a task in itself. Wish me luck. *bashes head off wall*

Another anomaly that made itself clear to me when talking to another friend recently was studying and finding excuses not to do it. Luckily being part of an art course means there's very little studying I have to do, but I can still see were he was coming from when he mentioned it. When he sits down to study, within minutes he's finding reasons not to study, such as cleaning that shelf he never uses, frying some eggs for no good reason, hoovering his floor. In fact it became glaringly obvious that studying reduces people into doing the things they would never do otherwise just to avoid its depressingly stale boringness.

I'll assume not all students are like this, especially the ones studying a course they love. However, staffing issues, lecture problems and course content conflicts in our university are leading people down the wrong path in some courses, leading to students hating their university experience. I don't have this problem quite so bad( except with 1 module), but I can still sympathize. Universities would do well to remember that students pay to be there, and staff are payed to be there. Guess I'll go protest outside the coffee machine.

Here's a thought : Im supposed to be studying, instead, Its dull nature and sheer amount drove me to find something else to do instead! kaplaaaaah!

Supermarkets

2006-11-28T12:05:00.000Z

As a self sustained and so called independent student, one of the curses pressed onto me is the buying food for myself thing. Easy, I know, and it allows a certain liberty to control what I eat, but being a bit too well looked after back home, I'll grumble about it anyway:-

I HATE SUPERMARKETS

More importantly, I hate half the drones inside them. Its a bad excuse to hate any human being - but once inside the walls of a supermarket, Its hard to call anyone human. I usually try to make my stay in these hellish places as short as possible, resorting sometimes to the exact same things I've eaten for 2 months just so the who process is less painless. This is all very well and good. But. There are road blocks, robots put in supermarkets to try and make this as slow and painfully nightmarish as is possible, turning what should be a simple shopping trip into a full blown crystal maze task - and not the fun kind,no, the really really annoying kind.

These robots are scaled - 1 being the easy robot one can brush aside and move onwards to their chosen product, and 10 being the impossible robot, the one that takes more patience and energy than you have.

Kid-bots - The childspawn of witch-mothers - Difficulty 2/10

These may be relatively easy adversaries, but make no mistake in underestimating them - they usually come in numbers. Small children left to their own devices to run riot in a supermarket sounds innocent at first, but they hinder and grind your isle traveling to a crawl like pace depending on how many you have to dodge

Stock-bot - Satanic Staff who stock shelves - difficulty 5/10

I see the importance of keeping everything stocked up, but these people, usually pissed off at their jobs, have a vendetta against the common customer. At any moment, they will push out that massive stock trolley on you and ruin the path you planned on just walking in. Sure ' its just their job', but trust me on this....they want to ruin your day, and they have the power to do it, in the most frustrating way possible.

Gran-bot - The deaf Granny - difficulty 7/10

Placed in the most awkward of locations, and usually blocking a path you need to take, is the granny who cant hear a word you say. Several attempts can be made to say ' ahem...Excuse me...' and 'er, 'cuse me please' or ' could I get past' but with no avail. Instead your blood begins to boil and your yelling ' EXCUSE ME YE DAFT BITCH YE' at the very same time as she turns to acknowledge you, catching you running your mouth off, just in time to lecture you in why the good old days things were better. This not only ruins your day, it drags your morale down and destroys all confidence you had in your good manners, leaving you feeling cold, empty and sick inside. Damn you deaf granny, WHAT IS YOUR PLAN! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!!!??

Que-bot - The common customer gone mad - Difficulty 10/10

The real boss here are the quebots. But they don?t just que like a normal person, oh no. The que becomes their home. Their social scene. Their personal fan club. As the rest of us stand patiently, close to sweet success, this daft cow is usually holding the line up in a big chat about how great their children are doing a school, with the checkout assistant. Now as interesting as that may be (its not) we wanna get out of here. Instead, she commits the worst crime in supermarket history - she asks the assistant to wait, as she 'quickly' hops off to grab something she just forgot. This usually tells its own story in the faces of the rest of us, as our annoyance lets out a massive sigh. As we're standing strapped with groceries, she's off curtseying down the isles taking her sweet time to fit in even more shopping, leaving the checkout assistant twiddling her thumbs like it will somehow bend the rules of time and speed the mad cow up a bit. Enough conviction to make the blood boil, evaporate and rain down from the heavens for a week.

Check-Out-Bot - Painfully stupid staff - 11/10

The staff member who clearly paid no attention at training, yes he wears a smile big enough to out-do even the holiest of creepy street preachers, but my frown has ' shut the hell up' written all over it. He's slow to scan. Slow to pack, slow to realize you've no interest in his conversation, and now and again he screws something up and has to call for help from the assistant manager, who's equally pissed off at him. Then you hand him a credit card to pay for something, and the panic rushes to his face as he's no idea how on earth the till works. Usually he'll begin to vibrate in his seat with fear and break into a cold sweat over the sheer horror of having to use the till! Bah, someone should monitor these idiots - they ruin lives...!! LIVES GODDAMIT!!! Primary cause of high blood pressure these days if you ask me.

Another rant. I know. But I dont care. These robots are taking over our supermarkets....its time we take them back!

Penn Jillette's 'This I believe'

2006-11-21T11:00:00.000Z

No post from me personally, instead, something truely touching from Penn Jillette.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5015557

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?
So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The atheism part is easy.
But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."
Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.
Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.
Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.
Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.
Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-O and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

Tut Tut Mr.Haggard

2006-11-08T11:11:00.000Z

Some of the following may be addressed directly to Ted Haggard, but I know he'll never read it, so, use your imagination.

Recently, things took a little dive for the pride that is evangelical idiocy. When one of the most powerful clergymen in the world, and head of a few million strong congragation let some secrets slip, and revealing he is infact human, Ted Haggard may have learnt a few home truths about faith and the poison his own mouth tends to spread.

Its satisfying in a small way to see such a 'respected' man fall so ungracefuly back to planet earth, but he deserves all the shame comming to him.

Now im not going to critisize him for his hommosexual urges, but hope maybe he'll review his own pathetic policies on same sex marrige and start recognising people for who they are and what they can be rather than his through the nose damnation that we're all sinners hopelessly lost without his almighty lord.

The only explanation for a man like Haggard is that he must believe he's an alien trapped on planet earth, and in order to get home he must bide his time and make alot of cash in the process. Making friends here and there and reading into some funny notion called religion, Haggard decides on a career path to heaven, using dollar bills to pathe the way. Poisoning the minds of weak humans by the thousands, Haggard finds a trade worth more than just cash, but one of power and influence. Recent events however have snapped Haggard from his silly dream; from the horror of realising he's human, he's hopefully finding a whole new respect for what it takes to stay that way. Dont take the alien part literally by the way.

Sure a male prostitute seemed like a great idea at the time, as did the drugs he 'gave' you. Sure you never had sex with him, and like a good boy you threw them drugs away, and sure your ashamed of the filthy lie that is your past, but Mr.Haggard, please, come on...the people you let down are all only sinners in your eyes, and now your worse than most of them! Im sure explaining this to your wife and 5 kids will take time, but the millions of followers in your church arent going to respond so well. I imagine alot of them are hurt and appalled at the level of hypocrysy you've managed to spew out all these years. Maybe its a good thing however. I dont see why people leaving or vandalising your church is a bad thing - maybe emancipation from the great spoof show you run is a turning point in thier life for the better.

Maybe this little episode will be a release for alot of your followers, and possibly even overshadow your entire career and put your reputation in line with the more shadowy details of the catholic church.

This isnt about your obvious hommosexual urges, but to do with how willingly easy it was for you to consider a prostitute, never mind the drugs! Your a shameful influence on everyone you've ever been in contact with, and your self righteousness personality will hopefully crumble as you try to deal with who you really are rather than the mask you've worn all these years. Its a good thing for you too Ted.

There's lessons to be learnt from our good pal Ted. If your gonna damn people, teach people supernatural stories, guide people away from real world facts, then at least ask yourself if your the right person to be doing it. Doing good from your perspective dosent mean your a good person, because I doubt youve really looked at how everyone else feels about it, and wether or not your own personality allows it. Ted Haggard is a shinning example to us all of how not to be a human - sure his intentions were filled with money....sorry, I mean saving peoples souls, but by his life, his secrets and his own mask of deception, he was no more qualified than any of us 'sinners' who can cope with our own lifestyles much more honestly.

Richard Dawkin's I imagine is gloating after the news of Haggards demise, having shown already what a fool Haggard was on last years 'The Root Of All Evil' on Channel 4, further evidence of corruption just waltzes onto the stage and finishes the job for him.

Farewell Mr.Harrard, we'll not miss you.

Asshole.

'Come On...I Dare Ya'

2006-11-07T10:00:00.000Z

An interesting observation I made with a friend whilst dodging our way through the streets of Dundee today. There are different types of people (well duhhh) you'll run into on a busy high street, and they'll fall into a few main categories:

The Plain Idiot:-

Were I generally feel sorry for these types, their no less human than the rest of us but the excuse for idiocy doesn't work any more. These guys will not even notice where they're walking, busy with their heads in the clouds or staring in windows while trying to traverse through other people. Perhaps ignorant is a better word for these absent minded folk, but after years of 'accidentally' bumping into others, you would think they would start paying more attention to the path their trying to walk.

The Napoleonic:-

These guy's have ' I'm the center of the fucking universe' syndrome, and will stand their ground on the approach with anyone in the path their traveling, if you get in their way, they WILL barge you out of the way, they WILL blame it on you and they most certainly will contort their face in a disgusted way as if to say 'you filthy genital wart, how DARE you....how VERY dare you!'. Their common enough on high streets, often seen with their noses at 90* to the pavement, often letting the public see how deep their nostrils can go. I suggest that the next time you see one of these, you oblige their invitation and throw something in there - it'll be a lesson on facial expression and the elasticity of human skin.

The Polite:-

The sort of courtesy we'd expect of others is that we'd both make attempts not to bump into each other on an intercept course. The initial eye contact or body language makes a small contract with each other to politely avoid walking right into one another - as it should be. Luckily most people are like this, but as luck has it, you'll always get the gimps anyway. There is of course the awkwardly polite, where you both keeping moving in the same direction and make 'ahah, sorry..ugh...eh..' noises under your breath while putting on your best fake smile; until the situation remedies itself and your free from the dilemma. The perversely polite too, are the scary people who give you a creepy smile, and make a big effort to let you past as if your some sort of special case. Some people may like this, but oh dear feck is it freaky, especially when 'serial murderer' is clearly written in their eyes.

The Wall:-

These people come in groups of 2 or more, increasing in size depending on how wide the street is. They unintentionally seem to walk beside each other, taking up the width of the current available space, forming an impenetrable wall you'll simply never get past. Elderly women are common culprits in this, forming a slow wall that travels through the town forming bottle-necks of people traffic wherever they go, perhaps their just protesting for the sake of it.

The Angry Pregnant Mother:-

Surely an understandable case? Well, almost, but theirs no excuse for ramming your buggy into the shins of everyone in front of you as if its someone else's fault you were stupid enough to get yourself pregnant. These stressed women are usually seen with a scowl more twisted than a trout fish on speed, their hair frizzed and messy and an exclusive language that goes ' tch....effff....feck...tcht...ughhh...sthuck sthake....jeeeesthuth..tcht'. Its easy to see why they'd be so annoyed, but blaming everyone else for thier misfortune is a crime.

Thier are more than this of course, feel free to add your own, but these are the common ones I deal with on a daily basis. I'd personally prefer If it stayed this way, its amusing most of the time to witness how others deal with the short comings of the person in front of them, sometimes disappointing too. Maybe one day I'll have my own tractor - I fancy the idea of anyone getting in my way being turned into something edible. *sigh* Guess I can dream.

If Pigeons Could Talk

2006-11-03T12:46:00.000Z

Its easy to diss the so called ' flying rats' of our cities, but think for a second - these wee beasts see us in our best and worst, and if they could speak, they'd have alot of things to tell us about ourselves. While certain things are true, such as them crapping on our heads (2 good friends of mine have personal experience in this), spreading a few illness's now and again - they generally get a hard time of it. Sure our kindness extends to tossing them a few chips now and again (probably more courtesy than we offer to homeless people!) and may attempt to kick them for giggles - but these unintelligent birds have an insight to our behavior that non else do.

I'm not saying bow down and worship the mighty pigeon, but at least remind yourself to think outside your view and recognize your worst and your best. Find your pigeon!

Recently, a local Chinese has been accused of using pigeon meat rather than the advertised 'chicken'. Nothing new there, to be honest, I love the level of ' feigned surprise' people put on sometimes. Even more hilarious is they think they were getting such great food for so cheap! When the maths doesn't add up chums, then cutbacks will be made. I think its great that pigeons get the last laugh in all of this. Surely we're having our pigeon and eating it?

-Ryan

2006-11-02T15:17:00.000Z

Ah. At last, I can blog :)